February 2012
28 posts
02.22.12
how the day comes in. a haze, and then a coffee, a reluctance to the afternoon. afternoon is heavy with the threat or promise of a nap, after it’s taken so long to wake the first time. i wanted coffee but there wasn’t any so i ate string cheese instead. it’s spring i guess, my supposed favorite, but i don’t feel like life begins until april. april april april. maybe...
02.21.12
There are certain limitations; for example, your human body may experience nausea. If you cut off your head while you are a queen you may emerge from your oozing neck a different queen. You may have difficulty with the softness around your midsection, you may desire cigarettes and harmful drugs. The tricks that worked before may suddenly fail. Try to think of an allergy as a warning against...
02.17.12
C brings me late night greasy tacos and a long stemmed red rose with the stem broken off. J gave me a hug and it snapped, he said. We live our nights by candlelight. We stay in bed till 10. Eat cookies for breakfast and dress in each others’ clothes. The syrup-sweet heat of our umwelt.
02.15.12b
Don’t disappear, I need you.
02.15.12
You can’t write about what it’s like to be alone if you are never alone. I mean, I want the absolute.
Aleister Crowley and his Ideas and Treatment of... →
Aleister Crowley and Feminism →
02.06.12b
The people i know do EMDR like other people’s friends do yoga.
02.06.12
I am afraid that warmth and acceptance of others will make me stupid.
confession
I have never actually read an entire Burroughs book. I’ve read part of The Wild Boys. That’s all. That’s all I’ve read. For Halloween I dressed up as Burroughs. I built a Clark Nova out of my post-war cursive typewriter, a giant fake spider, raw hamburger and black cherry Jell-o.
02.01.12
decided to call off the book release. at least in this city. can’t be so psychically and emotionally hostile to a place and not expect it to return the sentiment. unsleep’s needed to be performed, it was so vitriolic, i needed to exorcise the raw torrent. the point of the honeys may have just been to finish it, and then to finish it again. it’s not the fever. it’s the slick...
January 2012
25 posts
additionally, i have a lot of issues with chris kraus’ correlation of women/women’s writing with schizophrenia/a schizophrenic state, and i don’t feel intelligent enough to address them.
or, not just kraus but the current trend of women writers identifying their experience/their work as schizophrenic. that whole thing.
i must submit, let myself go with it, knowing i will emerge, as with many of life’s most lonely and degrading things, having learned nothing whatsoever.
-precious little lamb pit
01.31.12b
we were each allowed to ask the other for anything & in fact he would insist that i ask i was not as good at asking by which i mean i’m not as good at knowing the things i want i know the sensation of wanting but it’s childlike animal the cry before the word unformed & so for me increased satisfaction has been about discovering explicit facets of my want but then also...
01.31.12
obedience as a healing process as an incredibly sexual process
says the other J
and the slight but crucial difference in tenor between obedience and submission
01.30.12
Self: Is sexual satisfaction possible/real?
J: Hm. It is a momentary thing. So momentary that I’d have to say no. What is real are the Terms.
Self: What are your terms?
J: My terms are negotiable. I will even let me ex assert his power (he dictates time, place, position) so long as he allows me to assert mine (dig into his weaknesses with words). Or my terms might be You May Not Tell...
from WINDOWNER
The way my bombs work is that I set
them beside my heart, and although I
fly apart and out, flesh of me meeting
flesh of the other dead I’ve made, still
I am whole and focused.
My heart, once muscle, now a
rapture, now remains.
-from WINDOWNER, Kirsten Kaschock
(thank you, Sarah)
01.26.12
The quality of experience lately is a gentle disintegration. Sensations aren’t lessened, but the don’t linger. Nothing is tangible, exactly. Nothing lasts long enough to be important. Nothing is a singularity. A mist rolling across the skin, yielding to more mist, or the wave of a drowsing hand.
01.19.12b
but it is dangerous.
perhaps i mean i cannot possibly calculate the risks i am taking.
01.19.12
it’s not dangerous, but only because you have to do it.
1.14.12b
what is she acting out
01.14.12
she’s acting out
Asgarda Power →
01.11.12
the suicides of other people’s friends
three small limes, three small almonds
dressed all in white. dressed head to toe in white.
Anonymous asked: when someone invites you to an alleged black tie event, and you don't have a black tie, is it appropriate to respond to said event invite with a question about whether gangrenous cocks could be considered a black tie, and when the event invite suddenly disappears, is it appropriate to then ask about gangrenous cocks on their tumblr instead? can a cock even get gangrenous? i'm asking for...
01.06.12
the omens are pressing and unmistakeable but still i am arguing with logic: we talked about this, i said until april, give me until april. the first clue came early in november, when i placed the six of swords on a rapidly approaching month. the second clue was the return, and the plague of rats, and the descent into the darkness. now the multiple shifts in who is dominate; these i cannot accept....