additionally, i have a lot of issues with chris kraus’ correlation of women/women’s writing with schizophrenia/a schizophrenic state, and i don’t feel intelligent enough to address them. or, not just kraus but the current trend of women writers identifying their experience/their work as schizophrenic. that whole thing.
i must submit, let myself go with it, knowing i will emerge, as with many of life’s most lonely and degrading things, having learned nothing whatsoever. -precious little lamb pit
we were each allowed to ask the other for anything & in fact he would insist that i ask i was not as good at asking by which i mean i’m not as good at knowing the things i want i know the sensation of wanting but it’s childlike animal the cry before the word unformed & so for me increased satisfaction has been about discovering explicit facets of my want but then also...
obedience as a healing process as an incredibly sexual process says the other J and the slight but crucial difference in tenor between obedience and submission
Self: Is sexual satisfaction possible/real? J: Hm. It is a momentary thing. So momentary that I’d have to say no. What is real are the Terms. Self: What are your terms? J: My terms are negotiable. I will even let me ex assert his power (he dictates time, place, position) so long as he allows me to assert mine (dig into his weaknesses with words). Or my terms might be You May Not Tell...
The way my bombs work is that I set them beside my heart, and although I fly apart and out, flesh of me meeting flesh of the other dead I’ve made, still I am whole and focused. My heart, once muscle, now a rapture, now remains. -from WINDOWNER, Kirsten Kaschock (thank you, Sarah)
The quality of experience lately is a gentle disintegration. Sensations aren’t lessened, but the don’t linger. Nothing is tangible, exactly. Nothing lasts long enough to be important. Nothing is a singularity. A mist rolling across the skin, yielding to more mist, or the wave of a drowsing hand.
but it is dangerous. perhaps i mean i cannot possibly calculate the risks i am taking.
it’s not dangerous, but only because you have to do it.
what is she acting out
she’s acting out
Asgarda Power →
the suicides of other people’s friends three small limes, three small almonds dressed all in white. dressed head to toe in white.
Anonymous asked: when someone invites you to an alleged black tie event, and you don't have a black tie, is it appropriate to respond to said event invite with a question about whether gangrenous cocks could be considered a black tie, and when the event invite suddenly disappears, is it appropriate to then ask about gangrenous cocks on their tumblr instead? can a cock even get gangrenous? i'm asking for...
the omens are pressing and unmistakeable but still i am arguing with logic: we talked about this, i said until april, give me until april. the first clue came early in november, when i placed the six of swords on a rapidly approaching month. the second clue was the return, and the plague of rats, and the descent into the darkness. now the multiple shifts in who is dominate; these i cannot accept....
natalie & lauren →
Sex lately: no mouths, slow hands, and fights about hands, we are sensitive and there’s this drifting in and out of dreams and half sleep, half clothed, I mean a quality of mostly taking, but we are both taking, and we are sober, I smell his cheek when I see him, to make sure he’s the one I thought he was. There was one more thing I wanted to say. About cancer and loss and...